Big difference from when I first got sick.
February 27, 2007
Today I had an appointment with Dr. Ford and all seems fine. I haven't had any more seizures and have gained a quarter of a pound.
Also, for some strange reason the units of insulin that I take two times a day has lessened. Dr. Ford is puzzled by why I need less insulin. She said the only thing she could think of was my body is somehow producing a little insulin on it's own, but she also noted that seems impossible. So we are all puzzled, but as long as my glucose is monitored Cassandra will give me the right doses of insulin.
Dr. Ford was also surprised to see how well I am walking. Cassandra has taken me to a chiropractor once a week for about two and a half years, but since I feel down the stairs I go twice a week. So that may be why my walking is better. Dr. Ford is so stunned by this because according to my x-rays I should not be walking at all and I even run....it may be only about 4 ft, but I run.
AND I don't have to come back to see Dr. Ford until July 19th, 2007.
As of April 12, 2007
This evening around 6:30pm right in the middle of my dinner I had my first seizure since last October. It lasted a little longer than the previous ones....about 20 to 30 seconds. When it completed my mommy gave me another 500 mg of Taurine. Then an hour later I finished my dinner, but didn't eat very much.
As of April 23, 2007
Today is my birthday. I am 15 years young. AND tomorrow, April 24, 2007 is Tashi's birthday. He will be 7 years young.
Cassandra took us to the park so I could play with Tashi and all my other dog friends. We even got to have a Doggie Birthday Cake made by a Pet Bakery here in San Diego. The sad thing was I couldn't have any because of my illnesses, but I was happy to have my friends share my birthday. We even had birthday hats.......and I got my own treats; zucchini, rice cakes, and fresh cooked tuna. All my friends wanted some of my tuna, but I said "Let them eat cake". However, Cassandra had baked an entire tuna so they had some of that, also.
Everyone was so amazed that I am still here. If you recall I got sick December 1, 2003 and Dr. Ford didn't think I would live 24 hours and I'm still here...3 years, 4 months and 23 days later. I AM A MIRACLE!!!!
As of May 22, 2007
This evening around 9:30pm I had another seizure. It lasted about 20 to 30 seconds. My mommy picked me up and wrapped me in a blanket and held me until it passed as she always does. However, after it passed and she gave me 500 mg of Taurine she set me down on the floor, but I couldn't really walk very well. She called the hospital and they said to monitor me, but I didn't have another one.
As of May 24, 2007
This morning at 6 am I woke my mommy to the sound of me having another seizure. She picked me up and cuddled me in the blankets with her. The seizure lasted about 15 seconds and then I was fine.....exhausted, but fine.
June 9, 2007
Today, around 11:30am, Cali had a seizure that lasted about 4 to 5 minutes. After the seizure I gave her 500 mg of Taurine and homeopathic of Arnica Montana 30. I called the hospital and was told to monitor her cautiously.
Instead of resting she paced, panted and was doing a howling that is her cry of being confused and fear. So I just held her for awhile and then set her down. Again, she paced, panted and howled. Then right before 1 pm, when I was getting ready to give her medication, she had another seizure that lasted about 15 seconds.
I decided it was best to take her to the hospital so she could be monitored better. I stayed there until 3pm and during that time she had a third 15 second seizure. I left to go home and get her medications and bring them back. I got back at 6pm and during my absence she had 2 more seizures; one being about 4 to 5 minutes. Dr. Moore (Dr. Ford is in Seattle for a seminar) and I decided to keep her over night for their observation.
June 10, 2007 
At 6:15 am I called the hospital to check on Cali and was told that she did have another seizure at 8pm the night before, but it was one of the mild ones. They nurse said the Dr. Chin (Dr. Ford's assistant) would be calling me in a little while.
Dr. Chin called and said that she talked to Dr. Ford and they felt it would be best to keep Cali for at least one more day to find the right dosage of Phenobarbital (anti-seizure med) to help Cali. I asked her if that meant Cali would never have seizures again and was told that it will help control them, but not eliminate them.
I said that I would not allow Cali to go through that kind of fear again and that I felt it was time to put her to sleep. This was not an easy decision, but I know it was the right one; especially when Dr. Chin followed by saying she felt it was the best decision.
Before I went to the hospital I decided that Cali should be able to have some foods she had been forbidden to have due to the Pancreatitis. So I went to the store and got a 10 ounce filet mignon (I am a vegetarian, but occasionally I gave her high quality steak as a treat) and a container of Breyer's Natural Vanilla Ice Cream with Vanilla Beans. I went home grilled the steak and put some ice cream in a smaller container. Then Tashi and I went to the hospital. Cali's breathing was really labored; so Tashi and I took her outside to lay in the sun (Cali always really loves just basking in the sun). Labored breathing and all she did not refuse the steak nor ice cream. She loved it. After a little while we knew it was time; so went back in so Cali could be euthanized.
Dr. Sands, who does the euthanasia, came into the room and explained the two injections; the first is to relax the muscles and the second to stop the heart beat. While we were talking Tashi came up on the sofa bench next to Cali, laid down and put his head on Cali's shoulder and just laid there. So we waited for a while more.
Then Dr. Sands said she was going to begin the first injection through a catheter. She about to connect the syringe to the catheter and I told her Cali was gone. She said "I haven't done anything yet" and I said "I know, but she is gone". So she took her stethoscope and listened, but there was no heartbeat. My Cali was gone....she had crossed over to the rainbow bridge, June 10, 2007 @ 11:01am PDT, and now she is healthy again.
While Dr. Sands and I sat there crying I was holding my precious Cali's lifeless body in my arms, stroking her and talking to Dr. Sands. Then Tashi cuddled up to Cali and put his head across her neck and began whimpering. Dr. Sands asked me if I could lean forward enough to see his eyes. I did and he had tears running down his face. Dr. Sands and I have never seen a dog cry before and it broke our hearts.
Several of the other doctors and staff, who knew and worked with Cali over the past 3 and a half years came into the room to console and comfort Tashi and I, but they began to cry also. So we all sat there in tears. She was truly loved by many.
Cali passing on her own makes me realize that deciding to put her to sleep would have been the best decision for her. I feel her passing on her own was her last gift to me so I would never ever feel any guilt about euthanizing her. But either way the pain it brings to Tashi, to Chana my daughter and I is oh so unbearable. The pain is the same pain I had when my sister, Michelle, died 4 yrs ago or when my step-dad died 5 yrs ago. The pain of a family member's death is no different be they two legged or four legged; it ALWAYS hurts like crazy.
June 11, 2007
This morning I woke up to Tashi whimpering. He was laying with his head on Cali's bed and feeling so very sad. So I pulled him into my bed and cuddled him next to me. He is missing her so much.
The only other dog that Tashi knew in a close relationship was his own father, who bullied him all the time. So to Tashi losing Cali was like he had just lost his mother because Cali always treated him as a mom. He didn't eat last night and very little this morning. I have both of us on "Rescue Remedy" to help us get past the loss of our precious Cali.
As I have been writing this the tears have been streaming down my face. She has been gone only for a day I feel very lost without her. For the last 3 and a half years my daily schedule has been set around my cell phone alarms reminding of Cali's feeding times and medication times. Now, there are no phone alarms; just silence, which reminds me she is not here any more. My little psychic baby Cali has crossed over and Tashi and I are still here.....missing her.
So now I will spend time healing my sadness and helping Chana and Tashi heal theirs.....and trying to figure out what to do with all my time that was once used to take care of Cali.
To all of you who prayed for Cali since she first got sick I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because of you Cali lived 3 years, 6 months, 2 weeks and 4 days longer than expected......special time that we would never have had otherwise. Thank you.
Chana, Tashi & I send you love, along with our appreciation and gratitude.
June 21, 2007
Cali's ashes are now sitting on my desk; in her marble angel urn with it's scalloped framed photo of her. She will be next to me everyday and night since my office is in my home. I thank the people at Angel Ashes for having all the pet urns. Their kindness was above and beyond during this difficult time of my life.
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